Taking it back to the days when none of us knew how to make a website for our music but we bloody had to anyway because what choice did we have

This is not the true early ought-oughts reverie - this is a Squarespace template and I'm spoiling the gloss and the sheen on purpose, piece by sterile piece

Your web designer tonight is Chloe Alison Escott, singer etc from the Native Cats. JOHN SHARP TORO is our fourth and most consequential album. From my perspective, first it was gonna be my secret cryptic closeted trans album, then later it was gonna be my proud and defiant out trans album, and then it took long enough to come out (nobody's fault, nothing avoidable) that I've reached a point where I'm glad there's a line of misfit, itinerant queerness running through the album, but I'm just far enough into this life that if I were to put on airs about this being some grand statement about gender and journeys and gender journeys you'd be able to tell straight away that my dear heart wasn't in it. From the perspective of our bassist Julian Teakle it is an album he wrote and played some exceptionally good riffs for

Anyway first order of business for JohnSharpToro.net is that those devastating babes in the Native Cats have granted us - us! the lowly webmasters of JohnSharpToro.net! - this exclusive stream of the new video for their hit single Nixon Nevada... any minute now... there! We've embedded it

Praise the Native Cats, for they have bestowed, upon us, though we are but worms, the exclusive rights to --

 

look I'm honestly not even sure for the purpose of this gag how music video exclusives are supposed to work, especially for a band of our limited notoriety. I thought of a couple of websites that might be good to do the exclusive bizzo with, but I so dreaded the thought of writing an unasked-for email about it that I sank half an evening and twenty American dollars into JohnSharpToro.net instead

I have so much more I want to write here and I promise that none of it will be in that "sweaty, desperate content provider" character I momentarily dipped into above - not a lot of thought went into that one

You are invited to play your part in this simulacrum of the early ought-oughts reverie by bookmarking this page and then checking it regularly for updates - you'll be disappointed almost every time you do, but, oh! Imagine how you'll feel on that one day every few months when there's something new and nobody even told you there would be, you found it on your own initiative